Forgive and Forget

Excerpt of a text written by Dr Harbhajan Singh
(Published in “Sayings of Sant Kirpal Singh” edition 1987-1)

Make Love and self-surrender
the corner-stones of your life.
Do this and you find
your life becoming daily a blessing.

There are two forces in the world: one is justice, the other is forgiveness. The justice is a good thing in the world. But what the forgiveness can work in the world, the justice cannot do. To err is human, and to forget something from a man is not a big thing. If the punishment is the only solution to the sinner always, the sin and the sinner cannot finish in the world. You cannot wash the blood through blood, if we demand justice, justice gives the punishment of the sin done. The sinner surrenders to the punishment. But from within, he develops hate for the one who made him punish through justice. During punishment his tendency of hate develops more and continues to be more strong to revenge. And whenever he meets or comes across the person concerned, he radiates the thoughts of revenge.

Forgiveness is a gift from God.
This arises from the core of the heart.
The qualities of forgiveness if developed
work wonder in the world
and in the heart of the sinner.

By forgiving, the poison of revenge dilutes and does not kill the man, and the feeling of revenge flies away. The forgiver becomes the abode of love, happiness, humility and contentment. He can cross over thousand problems by his developed virtues and remain stable and broad-hearted throughout. If you are in the process of revenge, this continues both ways and grows more and more. It always gives uneasy and painful reactions. If in between you create the feeling of forgiveness, the same feeling reacts the other side. If it is put into practice the strong and the overcrowded black clouds of bad thoughts wither away in no time. And both sides emerge and feel the radiation of the steady and calm moon and the hope of sun which once for all dispel the darkness of hatred and revenge. Instead the respectful friendship continues to develop.

Forgiveness has the qualities
not to look back to revenge.
The two cannot exist together.
Taking revenge in the world
has murdered humanity,
civilization and the innocent.

Every action has its reaction. Your thoughts are very potent. You create lovable thought, it creates lovable reaction. You create respectful attitude, there will be respectful feeling everywhere. How does this work? Your thoughts are very potent and further modified with your lovable efforts.

If we sow the seeds of love we will have a tree of love where in abundance flowers of compassion with beautiful charm and smell will bloom out and will produce enough healthy and energetic fruits. If out of fear and revenge we sow thorny bushes, we should never hope to pluck bundles of grapes from there. In the same way you cannot hope ever to create woolen or silken cloth out of rayon.

If you determine that you won’t think evil of anybody throughout your life, you become the abode of love and contentment. If you happen to come across a sinner, or a sinner happens to come across you, the sinner at once will begin to shed off his sins out of sudden change. Sometimes the sinner gets emotional and cries out of love and devotion which sparks out of your personality. Master always remains the central figure of that phenomena.

It is easy for those to forgive and forget
who have all virtues in them.
They are soft-hearted and broad-minded.
They have fear and respect of God all the time.

We are bound with Pralabdh Karma (allotted destiny karma) and certainly have to finish (it). Masters say, you can make them soft and easy going by regular devotion and love. Devotion and love gives birth to humility and humility to forgiveness. During life time (Pralabdh Karma) you are involved in severe problems. This law of humility and forgiveness works wonderfully. Otherwise you cannot get rid of the reaction. Humility does not know who is offensive and who is defendant, who is sinner and who is innocent. Forgiveness washes away the dirt of the sinner and reminds him of the right way of life, whereas it gives a tremendous boost of vibration of love to the innocent.

You know Mahabharata fight started when the son of Kaurava (a blind king) went in the palace of Pandava. The floor of the palace was so beautifully shining that the son of Kaurava mistook it for water and put up his clothes a little above his knees. Draupadi (the wife of the Pandava) laughed and remarked that the children of the blind are also blind. The war started only due to these spoken words. Lord Krishna (the avatar) could not bring them together, rather stressed Pandava to finish the sin with tyranny. The whole civilization was murdered.

To forgive is the act of brave persons in the world.
This has never been the work of weak and unstable persons.

The brave person is always happy and contented, whereas even in good atmosphere the weak person remains half-hearted. Where there is forgiveness, there the forces of love surround the atmosphere like the honey bees surrounding the honey place. Kabir tells:

Where there is truth, there is faith.
Where there is lie, there is sin.
Where there is greed, there is death.
And where there is forgiveness, there is He Himself.
— Kabir

So the status of forgiveness is supreme in the world. The beauty of forgiveness is very charming.

After forgiving and forgetting nobody wants to leave the other. They always want to see each other, want to talk lovably and exchange lovable thoughts. They even feel shy to remember the sin and the revenge. The sin and the revenge fly away and are not to be seen thereafter. They are completely washed from the atmosphere. Kabir Sahib foretells:

Everywhere and everyone demands goodness.
— Kabir

Goodness is the reflection of forgiveness. By forgiving the fire of anger begins to extinguish. There is no other way to make it cool.

By cementing the forgiveness in the heart,
the wrath runs away permanently
and you get rid of the ego as well.

Master tells that an egoist has no fear of God. One Master says,

»l was more and more identified into the world
by committing more and more sins,
and I was miserably affected by the reactions.«

He learned from his Master to solve those problems. He told:

»Forgive all, and all will forgive you.«

Forgive and forget is the heritage of the Saints alone and of those who follow the words of the Saints. Ego is the hindrance in the way of forgive and forget. Some people out of suppression and emotion forgive, but do not forget. No relief is possible. The fire is there but it is dormant. When storms and swift winds start it may burn afresh. It is the ego which is fire. The fire of ego burns the egoist. The effect on others is momentary. God comes to help to erase the effect on the innocent.

So those who do not surrender,
they do not enjoy the lofty smell
and taste of forgiveness.

Small trees and bushes near the Sandal tree, too, become like Sandal and these emit fragrance. But the bamboo tree, due to its ego of highness, does not become fragrant. Egoists call themselves men of good action, such ones wander in many existences. They become the worm of the ordure. Such ones are stupid, blind and ignorant.

If a man does millions of good deeds but does not bear the qualities of forgiveness, he is born in pride again and again and into many existences. He may come to hell and paradise but does not come out of the effects of hell and paradise. Men of actions may live in the hell and paradise, but no one who has the qualities of forgiveness ever lived in the paradise. He lives where the creator of forgiveness lives. His stay is beyond the stop and spot.

The man with qualities of forgiveness never says that he is good, because those who think of themselves as good, goodness never draws near them. It is a fundamental rule and there is no exception to the rule. So long as one thinks that he is good, innocent and right, he neither forgives nor forebears forgiveness. He is hard and is not humble. His own actions are hindrances in his way. Such people get dry and leave dryness after them. Their effect on the atmosphere is not healthy. (1)

The man who can forget is a very strong man. The majority of men (humans) cannot forgive. Forgiveness requires a very big heart. And how can those who do not like to forgive others expect forgiveness from God? We wish that we would be forgiven. We pray for that, is it not so?

God will forgive us only if we forgive others, too. (2)
Where there is forgiveness, there He comes.
If one does not honour His presence,
then he loses this and the other world.

If the egoist, due to fresh vibration and sweet remembrance of God, which is only momentarily with him, surrenders to forgiveness, then the merciful Lord plants meekness in him and he obtains peace and comfort here and thereafter. The egoist due to forgiveness becomes a conscious one.

A greedy person cannot forgive anyone because of greed he is not contented. He wants to procure his wishes by all ways and means. In fulfilling his greed he finds ways and means and commits more and more sins and gathers ordure dust where throw-away-seeds of hatred and ill feelings are growing very fast. Greed is the root cause of sins. Greedy persons have their own limitations and they cannot go side by side. They pretend to be pious, contented and well-wishers and tell the things positively which they miserably lack and do not practice at all.

You should never expect forgiveness from them! Greedy persons do not differentiate between good and bad, between the truth and the false, between the right and the wrong, between justice and forgiveness. They prefer the thing which serves their motto. They do not differentiate between the odor and the good smell.

When any controversy starts somewhere, mostly aimless things start there. Knowing that it is their subject they become the main adviser there.

When there are some problems, the question of forgive and forget will only arise when the situation is free and clean there. When hindrances continue to work parallel then humility prays to God and cries: »In whose heart may I dwell?« God helps her and tells her ways and means for dwelling nicely. God always gave due consideration to humility. God says to her:

»You can bring contentment, peace, harmony, love, attraction.
You can spread good thoughts, you can create good deeds.
You can give boost of love equally to the sinner and the pious.«

Humility works both ways and covers all the ten directions. God comes to help humility.

The stones leave their hardness
and begin to melt away.
They leave their high altitude
and come down on the earth
to serve humanity.(3)

So thought waves are very potent, you see. You have to use control, you have to control the thoughts. Don’t fritter away your life and strength in thinking like this. Think positively! If you think somebody is good, you’ll become good. If you think ill of others, you’ll become like that. (»As you think, so you will become.«) That’s the secret of saints. They have good wishes even for those who would kill them.(4)

It so happened that somebody came up to Lord Buddha and began to call him names like anything. He came in the evening and he went on this way till night. When a man is in an angry mood he forgets everything all around him. It got dark, then he thought, »Oh, it is getting dark, I have to go back.« As he was turning away Buddha told him, »Well, look here, dear friend. If somebody brings a present and the person for whom he has brought it does not accept it, with whom does that present remain?«»Well, naturally, with the one who has brought it.«»Well«, Lord Buddha said, »whatever present you have brought to me, I do not accept!« These are the lessons we learn from the lives of great men.

To reach God is not difficult, but to make a man is difficult. We are all on the way to perfection, some 10 percent, some 20 percent, some 40 percent; but we are not yet fully perfect.

But we have to be »perfect as our Father is in heaven.«
That is our goal.
And God loves all, even those who call Him names,
who do not believe in Him.
If you want to realize the God in you,
you should also do the same.

I have told you no new thing; but we should start with a clean heart. What is past is past; it should be forgotten: first forgiven and then forgotten. Even in forgiving we say, »Oh, I have already forgiven you; why should I forgive you again?«

This question was put to Jesus:

»What should we do to forgive others?
How many times should we forgive them?
Seven times?«

Jesus said,

»l say forgive him seventy times seven!«

The scriptures are not only meant for reading or ruminating over. It is to be learned. Whatever you learn should become part and parcel of your life, and you will change like anything. The man-body is the golden opportunity we have, and we can do it; each man can change. There is hope for everybody:

Every saint has his past and every sinner a future.(5)

Lots of people also learn lessons out of the theory and believe, and find their way back. They serve their own purpose and help others to serve their purposes. Such people in the world are the head crown of noble persons. The world remembered them and will remember them forever. Credit goes to saints like Kabir, Guru Nanak, Guru Gobind Singh, etc., and now to Sant Kirpal Singh Ji who bestowed all His blessing to serve humanity.

Let we believe and believe once for all that the same is our heritage and our responsibility is beyond limitation. Our physical body, our family and family affairs, our attachment in the world be surrendered unto His Holy Feet — and let us be thankful unto Him if He accepts thus.(6)

I would like to sow the seeds of love in your hearts so that the feeling of love is brought to all, among all nations, creeds, sects and castes of the world. All saints preached the same:

»Love and all things shall be added unto you.«

If we wish to love God truly in the most practical way, we must love our fellow-beings. We must love others as we do our dear ones. We should be happy in the happiness of others and suffer in the suffering of others. We should endure all that comes cheerfully, ac­cepting His will, and never hurt or harm any of His beings. You should know that to love God, we must live for God and die for God.


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References:

(1) Dr Harbhajan Singh
(2) »Harmony« by Sant Kirpal Singh
(3) Dr Harbhajan Singh
(4) »Light of Kirpal« by Sant Kirpal Singh
(5) »Harmony« by Sant Kirpal Singh
(6) Dr Harbhajan Singh

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