How we came to Sant Kirpal Singh

Excerpts from talks by Dr Harbhajan Singh, printed in “Sayings of Sant Kirpal Singh” 1989-1

Yearning

To meet a competent Master is very difficult — but it is a blessing. Either the disciple meets the Master or Master meets the disciple. In my own life I could meet the Master after a long search of 25 years. He was very close there, He used to come to my city, but I never knew He is the Master. I always prayed for Him, He should come to me or He should contact me or I should contact Him, but I never knew who was the Master.

A very big problem in my life came when I was only a boy of 16 years old and that turned my angle of vision. On that very day Master appeared and asked me some question. I could not answer properly and with the twinkling of an eye He disappeared. I was then a student in the school and while studying my whole attention was with Him. With whom? Who just appeared. And time passed by, but the very next night He appeared within and said, “Your time has not come, you will certainly meet your Master.” But as my answer was not proper, my yearning to meet Him was to correct myself and to get a right answer from Him. This took about eleven years. During these eleven years I could meet the same Master — but physically He was different (in form of an old man), but it made me happy to see Him. It was something from within, I was very happy with this old man. I took Him to my house and He used to disappear like anything. Each time, He brought me little more to Him, and my attention was drawn towards Him — towards that Power — and my yearning still grew more. Then I started to search for Him. I thought, “He is somewhere but I cannot find.”

It is just like when you meet someone in the street or in the market, but you do not know his address, you do not know his whereabouts. Where will you meet Him? Per chance, by the grace of the Master, if He wishes, then He might come to you again, otherwise you cannot search that Power.

My search for Him grew more and more; it was suchlike that sometimes I could not sleep for many, many nights. But again He came, sometimes within, sometimes outside, then He disappeared, went away.

Master is that Power which gives His glimpse on the very first sight. He will definitely give you something. His contact is so gracious — He reminds us of our lost home or our purpose of human life and helps to remove some problems which hinder the way. He softens the way, He knows how to bring this child again back to the lap of His Father — He knows each and everything. The time factor is there; time factor depends on our delayed growth, we are not grown up. We are grown up from outside, but we are not grown up from within, that is why sometimes we are delayed. Sometimes we are delayed due to our own faults, due to our own environments, sometimes due to our own self-created problems that He does not come soon.

A time came after eleven years when He appeared and told about His address. This time I started to say that there is no God in the world. I totally refused to admit His presence and said, “No, there is no God.” Because I had been weeping, crying and I did not see Him. So I started to say, “No, there is no God. I don’t feel His presence.” It was not a denial from me, I had not denied it but yearning was still more. But that time when He appeared, He gave the address and said, “Yes, I am living there”, and at once I thought, “Okay, now you are going, tomorrow at noon I will be there.” Then He again faced me and said, “No, God is He who appears within comes Himself.” Khuda is an Urdu word and means: that Power which comes Himself is called God Power. There was still one more condition on me which took about six months for His arrival. I knew the address, I knew everything about Him, but still there was the condition that He will come Himself. And this condition took me six months late, and I tell you that the intensity of love with Master grew so much that many times I took the train, went near to this place but returned. Lot of times I went to this place where I had got the inner experience, where Master had revealed about His arrival to me, but there again I could not find Him. I was just like a mad man searching for His arrival.(1)

Meeting in Jullundhar

One morning my uncle — who is still not initiated — came early in the morning after attending Satsang in Majita. I asked, “Uncle, from where have you come?” He said, “I come from Majita.” I asked, “Why did you go there so early?” He answered, “A big Saint came there and I had gone to hear Him.” I asked, “What is His name?” Then he said, “His name is Sant Kirpal Singh.” It struck me like a blow — very strong, but very soft (from within). I just took a motor-bike. My uncle said, “If you want to meet Him, then go at once, because He has to go to Amritsar and from there back to Jullundhar; that is His program.” So I immediately took the motor-cycle and went to Majita. There I asked for Him and they said that He had gone to Amritsar. I do not know in which speed I went — I was going up to the limit that I could drive that day. But nothing happened to me, I could reach there safely. But I did not know where the Satsang Centre was, so I asked and went there. When I reached there I could find that Master had already left that place, and this man who was living there, he told me that Master had told him, “If one person, one young man will come with his motor-bike, then ask him to come to Jullundhar.” So then right from that place I started to go to Jullundhar and when I went there to see Him, it was Satsang-time. I stopped my motor-bike outside and wanted to sit far away there, because all persons were already sitting there in the Satsang. I wanted to have some seat outside but Master pointed out and said, “Yes, young man, you come near to me.” So I was sitting very close to the Master. Master was making Satsang on the teaching of Kabir. I was weeping and He was putting full attention on me. This whole Satsang He made for me. I was fully weeping whole the Satsang. It was the first day in my life that molded me too much. Just like a man from the dirty canal is put on throne — it was like this for me. So much intoxication I could feel while sitting at the holy feet of the Master. When the Satsang was over, Master pressed His eye a little bit, this was a sign that I could follow Him. He went into the room and I followed Him. Master told me, “I have seen you somewhere.” Then I was very much proud of His competency: It was the Power, it was He who had come Himself. With this view I answered, “Master, I have already seen You.” I was just talking when women along with some children came in, and so Master told me not to talk anything. Then Master asked me how I could have come, if I could get some leave. I said, “No, Master, I am a doctor, I need not get leave. This is my private work.” Master said, “Even then you have to get leave from the patients.” I said, “Master, I need Initiation.” Master spoke just like a father is speaking to a child. “Why do you need it?”“Master, I need it, I do not know, I need it!” I never heard the Satsang of the Master, I only heard one Satsang and demanded for the Initiation. Master said, “Okay, get leave. Today you go back, attend your patients and then come to Ludhiana.” (It was the next centre.) “Here I am not giving Initiation, you can come to Ludhiana, there I can give you the Initiation.” So after two days I went back to this city. I went at night-time and I had to sleep outside because there was so much rush. I could not get place inside, so I had to sleep on a wooden cart outside. There were two persons who were talking something against the Mission of the Master. They were talking for a long time. They said that initiation is not needed, this is not the real subject, this and that, many things, but this didn’t affect me at all. I was fully ready for initiation because the love of the Master was vibrating — it was too much for me.

Then at the time of initiation Master gave many persons a sitting. Thereafter He asked about the experiences. I had the experience, but I used to get so much of His blessing beforehand. Master said, “He who didnt get any experience should stand up.” I stood up at once. “Master, I have not got any experience.” Master made the others sit again and then took me to His room. I was alone sitting there. Master said, “You keep sitting there, you sit in meditation here.” There were the photos of Baba Sawan Singh and our Master. I was unable to sit there, I was only seeing the picture of Baba Sawan Singh. It was the first time I could see the picture of Baba Sawan Singh and that of the Master and I was looking only. Master came to me after giving the Initiation and said, “Yes, you were sitting?” I said, “Master, no, I was not sitting.” Then Master took me in His arms and He loved me, but that could take me above the body-consciousness. It gave me so much vibration that I felt no one had got so much grace as I had got that day. It was like this — very good it was. So Master gave me very much love on the very first day.

Biji

In the early time I wanted to meditate much, so I could get a lot of time and I used to meditate. I never asked my wife (Biji) to get initiation, but as she saw me sitting in meditation, she was fully convinced that it is a good thing. It is the highest of all. She had not heard any Satsang but she said, “I need Initiation.” I always said, “Initiation is a must, but still you should know all those things and then Initiation is a must for you, not now.” She had not heard any Satsang, but after six months she was fully convinced that she also needed initiation. Without any theory, she was knowing fully.

Then I was to go to Delhi to hear the Satsang of the Master and she also came along with me. She only heard one Satsang, and Master was asking each and every person (that wanted to be initiated) whether they had heard Satsangs. To one person who had heard only one Satsang Master said, “No, you go outside, you hear more Satsangs and then you come to get the Initiation.” Lots of persons were rejected and were not given the initiation this time. She was very much afraid because she had also heard only one Satsang, but when Master came to her, He was only standing and looking at her and then passed away. He didn’t ask her anything. So she was very happy that Master had accepted her. And then Initiation was given and she rose above the body-consciousness, and she was lying there for three hours. Then Master asked to bring some water from the kitchen. This water was brought, and Master gave her some water to drink. She was above the body-consciousness, and with His attention Master took her back. Master asked her about what she had experienced. Then she told that Guru Nanak and Kabir appeared to her and Master was also along with them. On the very first day this was her experience! Master took her (inside) to one place where lots of people were doing selfless service. It was a very big place that was going to be constructed and many people were working there. There was a well and beside there was one bucket; it was tied with one rope, which was lying there. Master took the bucket and started to untie it from the rope. She saw that this rope was affected by the rust from the bucket. She said, “Master, what does this rust mean?” Master said, “You were initiated by Kabir, the highest Power and now you have come here. He gave this Initiation to the first group and you and your husband, both were initiated by Him and you had to come back because this selfless service is still needed. This is the bucket which is still lying. You have to do much selfless service for the cause of the Master. You are not coming as prisoners, you are coming as doctors. You have to work. You have to work in the world, you are not prisoners. Each and every Master has to give some staff to the successor Master. When Guru Nanak came, He also kept some persons (in the world) for the development of Spirituality, and similarly Kabir did so. Right from the beginning Kabir left some nine persons who could work in the world. They helped all the Masters and no Master was able to give them Initiation, because they were initiated by the Almighty God. You worked with all those Masters who came in the past, but no one was able to give Initiation to you. Now this time has come when the old, old things have been revived to you. Now you help the cause of the Master and then we (Kabir and Guru Nanak) give you the guarantee that you will be taken back eternally. You will not come back into this world.”

Right from that very moment when we got Initiation we knew that we have to work as a bought servant of the Master, because we were sent by Him right from Kabir to help the cause of the Master. We have nothing to do with the Masters (the competent Masters of the fifth plane) and we have nothing to do of our own planning or introduce any method from our side. We have simply to flourish the teaching of that highest Power. This was her experience.

Maybe a month back Master came to Amritsar and there Master also said, “If you buy a clay pot, you always strike it with the hands whether it is broken or not leaking, and you have also done in the same way. You have accepted your Master as the highest Power, the Almighty God, so it was His wish. It was entirely done with His wish. You came to the right place and you were selected by the God Power Himself and thereafter — this time — you also got the right (competent) Master. It was the only place for you to come. Though Master took you back to the same place, this awakening was also with you right from the beginning and nobody could misguide you. You never went after the so-called masters. This heritage, this right understanding — this rather rare right understanding — was with you right from the beginning.” (2)

The smell of roses and jasmine

Once we could get to know a very big secret in His set-up. It is written everywhere that Master has His own smell, a beautiful smell, just like rose and jasmine. When you have this vibration direct from within, you will sometimes feel it, that this smell of the Master is within. Master is within and this perfume is also within. This purifies the soul; it develops the soul. That comes only through His grace, whenever He wishes. What does He do? He materializes and manifests within and also stands outside. In both ways one is very close to the Master and by this phenomena one gets much radiation from the Master Power. While doing His Mission we could know that the Master was very close to us though we could not see Him with our eyes. In the beginning it was like this.

One time we went to Delhi as we thought that Master was there — but on the way we got to know that He was not there. He had already gone to Dehra-Dun for ten days. But we could get a strong vibration and radiation and the smell of roses and jasmine. We became very sad but we said, “Well, most of the distance we have already covered, now it is only a short way to go, we will nevertheless go to Delhi. We shall at least go there and bow down our head, although the Master is not there.” But to our surprise He was already in the ashram when we reached Delhi. Master said, “Okay, come up on the roof of the house.” He was standing on the roof of the house. I asked Him, “Master, on the way we knew that you are not there?” Then one man from Delhi asked the same question, “Master, you had already gone to Dehra-Dun and you should come back after ten days, but you came back today. What is the reason for it?” Master, looking at us, said, “I do not know whose love took me back.”

Master discussed some very important matters with us. It was a time when we could know many things out of His vibration, and while sitting together He told us lots of things. Getting together in the sweet remembrance of the Master and to know about our subject, this is our subject, it is not the Master’s subject. Actually Master has finished this whole thing (His purpose) and He is just teaching us how to develop like Him. The experiences that are written in the holy scriptures must become our experience. If this experience is not ours, then we are not really linked with the Master Power. We are keeping distance with Him.

At that time we told Master, “Master, while we were on the way we felt a very good smell, we perceived a very good perfume like that of roses.” Master said, “Not only a disciple smells it, but Master also smells the scent from the disciple.” When the disciple starts to see the Master with love and receptivity, this smell also reaches the Master Power, He also smells it. This is something very unique in the world.(3)

Parshad

Even at the time of Master He showed many things about His competency. People said, “It was a miracle”, but Master said, “No, it is according to the natural law.” This is no miracle, it is in accordance with the laws of nature.

In a certain village Master showed many things. In this village there was one man (with his family). This house is totally destroyed now, neither the husband nor the wife is there any longer, none of the children are there; it is all dry land now. Wife and husband have already gone back with the Master. This husband was suffering from heart-trouble; twenty-five years he had been suffering. It was difficult for him to stay in the world. He was neither able to leave the body nor was he really alive, such was the heart-trouble he had. But he was a very good person, very noble, very pious — maybe due to this trouble, as he was very cut off from the world. I used to treat him and sometimes I gave him medicine. He was a very good man and I had great sympathy with him all the time. When I went to the Master, I never took parshad. People used to bring sweets to convert them into parshad by the attention of the Master and took them back to their homes. Master mostly objected, “No, parshad is not needed; parshad is already given — Initiation is parshad, it is the biggest parshad.” People insisted again and again, so Master used to put some attention (on it) and said, “Okay, go, but take little only and put in some more time for meditation; this will work, otherwise it is merely a sweet.” We never wanted parshad from Him but this time I was taking three packages of sweets to the Master. Master said, “Why not one, why three packages?” I said, “Master, one is for me and my wife, one is for the old disciples, and this third package is for a new one.” Master put His attention on these three packets, “Well, good”, and gave them to me. I took them back to Amritsar.

When I arrived at home, this man was having very much trouble. His daughter came to call me there; he wanted some injection. Immediately one thing struck me, “I have the parshad.” So, when I went there, I took some parshad in my hand. It was for the new one. I said to this man, “Okay, you have it and you will remember at least what has been given to you.” So he took the parshad. He did not know from where it was — it was a sweet and he just took the sweet. But at night-time Master appeared to him. Then, early in the morning, he sent a message to our home, “Bhaji and Biji should both come to my house.” So we went there. We took a calendar-photo of the Master with us. It was rolled and we did not give it to him, but had it in our hands. He asked, “Have you any photo of your Master?”“We have brought it”, we said and showed it to him. He said, “It should be just in front of my bed.” So we put it before his bed. Now all the time he was looking into the picture of the Master, all the time. I used to go there every day, because he called us every day. As his condition was not good, many persons used to visit him and whenever I came, many people were sitting there, talking on different matters. I myself was also not free; there was a big crowd, many patients in my hospital, and whenever I went there, I came back without having told him anything. So, maybe on the tenth or eleventh day, his sister, who lived far away in another district, about five or six hundred kilometres from this place, came to see him. They had sent a telegram, “Your brother is sick, you should meet him, his condition is not very good.” When the sister arrived, she entered the room and was standing before his bed. He asked his sister, “Please, clear the way and go to this side.” She asked, “Why?” He answered, “My Master has come.” Then he was very happy and asked his wife to come. Pointing to the photo, he said, “I am going back with Him, and your duty is to go to Him also. You need not worry about the marriage of our daughter; Master Power will take care for her, don’t worry.” So he left his body.

I went to Master. He was distributing parshad. Everyone wanted parshad and everyone got some. I was standing behind. When everyone was taking parshad, I was having some shyness — like a thief I was feeling there. But when it was my turn, I said, “Okay, Master, give me parshad.” Master said, “No, I will not give you the parshad. Please, sit with me here, I have to talk with you.” So I was sitting down and all others went away. Master said, “Come near to me.” Then He said, “This man has left his body.” Master did not know it physically, He knew it from within. Master continued, “You gave parshad to this man but what did you give from yourself, tell me?” I replied, “Master, I don’t have anything what I could give from myself. A disciple is a mere disciple — whatever can he give? He has to get everything from his Master. We have rather good wishes for him, otherwise every blessing is from you. I really cannot give anything.” Master said, “Think it over again. You could have given him something.” I started to weep. Master said, “Don’t weep. Why do you weep? At least I have given you some right understanding. He has left the body, but he did not know where to go. At last, he who has given the parshad, has to take care for him, but what have you given from your own side?” I said, “Master, yes, this is my biggest fault”, and I started to weep, “Master, it is my biggest fault.” Master loved me very much. He said, “Okay, from now onwards you give the theory and I will give the parshad. Today I give you one promise: you tell the theoretical aspect of life, and I will give it within practically. Is this promise okay now?” I said, “It is okay. This is your work, we are only little, little instruments to work for you. You are only to make us run this way or that way.” Master said, “Guidance will be properly given. Those who know the theoretical aspect of life, they cannot be beaten in the world. My disciple is far more than those present ‘saints’. They do not get the vibration, whereas you are getting it directly from Him.” This is what Master told, and so it was decided.(4)

Master’s guarantee

When Master called me on the 4 April, 1974, I was with Him for ten hours, and Master told me each and everything, how His Mission will work. Then Master gave me the initiation-instructions. They are still with me — with His signature there. I said, “Master, I don’t need it, I never wished it throughout my life. If I had any wish, I only wanted to see you physically well and very healthy.” I always got very sick and very unhappy, when Master was sick. One time I was very unhappy and Master said, “What do you want from me?” I said, “Master, I don’t need anything. I never wanted meditation, I never had any wish from you. I only have one wish.” — Lots of people were sitting there and Master said, “Yes, you tell me this wish, what do you want from me? I will give it to you, not only verbally, but in writing as well.” I said, “Master, I want that you must never fall sick again.” Master said, “Only this much? — No problem. Bring the paper!” Paper was brought and He said, “Okay, I will not fall sick in future.” Sign and the date is there. Thereafter, maybe after half an hour, I recollected something and I went to Master again. I said, “Master, I want a little change in it.” Actually it was written: I will not fall sick again. So I said, “Master, You please write down, ‘Physically, I will not fall sick again.’ ” Master said, “This I will never write, because I am not the body. I will not write it.” So I said, “Master, I never wanted anything from You because I know, this one glimpse from You is sufficient to take us back. We never wanted anything or had any questions. Whatever duty you have given — it is sufficient for us to release us from this world.” It was His wish that we never created any wish. Master said, “There are lots of persons with right understanding — rather rare right understanding of its special significance, and they are scattered everywhere in the world. A time will come, when they will all get together and there will be a revolution of spirituality.” Then Master said, “Only those, who are already in contact with that Power, will come to you, others will not come. So much guarantee I give to you.” Master said, “Your work is outside, my work will be inside.” (5)


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References:

(1) from tape 36/85 — 23.06.85
(2) from tape 38/83 — 10.12.83
(3) from tape 47/85 — 07.11.85
(4) from tape 58/83 — 30.12.83
(5) from tape 33/86 — 27.07.86

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